Releasing Control

Almost a year ago at Satori (a self-enquiry retreat) I made a prayer to release the ways control shows up in my life.

I could feel the impact of my protection and control mechanisms, and how they have inhibited me from realising the life experiences that I desire.

After almost a year of my life being regularly turned upside down and inside out I can see what a bold move that prayer was… Anytime I attempt to hold onto anything, life does a quick and unexpected reshuffle.

Over the last year, the lessons in uncertainty kept coming thick and fast.

Sometimes I surrender gracefully and sometimes I fight.

So yes the control is still working its way through my body and psyche.

It feels painful and excruciating.

Loving myself through the journey with grace and still feeling the fight. Part of me wants to fully release and surrender, and part of me wants to hold on. Sometimes questioning how much more life is going to ask of me.

All I know is I don’t know anything.

And then I breathe the surrender through my body and let go again.

My centre and self-trust and self-love expands with each and every challenge. I know my prayer was received by the divine - loud and clear.

To experience something new in life, it’s important to release the patterns and behaviours that no longer serve. I could not create the relationship I desire or the professional life I desire from a place of protection and control.

Protection and control keep my life small, limited and shallow. 

To experience the fullness of what is available and possible in my life, I need to trust that what falls away was not meant for me, and what is meant for me, will find me. 

With Love,  Martina